Middle Aged Blues

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Written by Doug Harvey

In the middle of the night you wake up to take a piss
Wait for your bladder to empty and listen to the hiss
You wonder how it happens, how it all comes down to this
That’s when you know…
You’re middle aged

You got eyelids on your eyelids and joint pain in your hips
Varicose veins and bunions and laugh lines round your lips
And come to think of it, your memory’s starting to slip
That’s when you know…
You’re middle aged

Passionate sexual urges disappeared at some point in the past
If by chance you get lucky, you hope that the moment will last
Your drugs of choice are Viagara, Wellbutrin and Lipitor
Before too long you’ve forgotten the name of the game and how to keep score

The first thing you want is a back rub at night when you climb into bed
You’ve got more hair on your earlobes than you’ve got on the top of your head
Some mornings you wonder if maybe you just woke up dead
That’s when you know…
You’re middle aged

You don’t really care what you look like ‘cause nobody thinks that you’re hot
You get flyers for long term insurance, assisted living and burial plots
When you start to limp with arthritis you replace the joints in your knees
You worry it might be pneumonia when you catch cold and sniffle and sneeze

Your career is basically over, your skills are now obsolete
You’re not going to win the Olympics, but you’re happy to be on your feet
Your best days are behind you, but the good days are, oh, so sweet
That’s when you know…
You’re middle aged

© Copyright by Doug Harvey and Bird Ash Music

Appears on

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